Happy holidays/Season’s Greetings/Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Merry Solstice/greeting of your choice

Hope you all are having a wonderful day.

And here, in honor of this day, is a masterpiece of modern folklore: the ultimate politically correct greeting for the season.

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . .

. . . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “America” in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)


Filed under Uncategorized

10 responses to “Happy holidays/Season’s Greetings/Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Merry Solstice/greeting of your choice

  1. Zack M. Davis

    “Political correctness” was a strawhuman.

    I hope you have a wonderful day as well, Cathy!

  2. PJ

    Geez. This is why lawyers rule the world.

  3. mythago

    If there really were peace on earth and goodwill toward men, we lawyers would be out of business. 😉

  4. Matt

    Priceless! This is going to be the small print on our greeting cards next year.

    Thank you, Cathy, for this and a wonderful blog, and Merry Christmas, everyone!

  5. Anonymous

    Merry Christmas, Cathy! Hope you have a wonderful day.

    Btw, I really enjoy reading your blog.

  6. mythago

    matt, while it is pretty funny, there’s a bit of a nasty edge in it that your non-Christmas-celebrating friends might not appreciate as much. (assuming, of course, you have such friends, otherwise you’re probably good to go)

  7. Paul

    Happy Holidays et al !

  8. loryces

    merry christmas cathy!

    oooh can i borrow your greeting? thanks!

  9. Cathy Young

    loryces-but of course!

    thanks everyone!

  10. vbspurs

    Merry Christmas, Cathy Youngsters. 🙂


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